Working on healing while going through an unwanted divorce

[KarenS]

My husband filed for divorce five months ago against my wishes. Although I recently came back into Science, I have been struggling with a profound sense of lack. I have found it challenging to keep my thought in the right place. I have been working with the thought of "all things are possible to God." But I am having a hard time accepting that although it is possible for my husband and I to work things out, it might not be a right idea.
I wanted to know if anyone had some thoughts on how to believe and trust that God's plan is the best, when the situation is so seemingly hopeless and sad.

[Laurie]

Every divorce is as unique as every marriage.

I think it is important that when you read through the Bible and S&H
to look for the underlying Spiritual truths and not get bogged down with
cultural and historial situations.

For example, just because Moses kicked Hagar and her child out of
the house and left them fend for themselves in the wilderness, doesn't
mean that it is an acceptable practice. The underlying Spiritual
message was that God cared for Hagar and her child regardless
of the situation.

Mrs Eddy, herself, divorced and it did not stop her from doing great
work and helping lots of people later in her life.

[Marta-London]

Hey Karen,

When you don’t know what is the right way, just let it all go to God and trust His plan for you. Right now fill the sense of lack with infinite Love. Use gratitude. It is the best lack filler and gets you to the light the quickest.

When I found myself in a hard place with our marriage I prayed alot, but I felt the more I prayed the more it fell apart. I gave my marriage to God and let go completely. I decided if I can’t save my marriage then I can at least look back on all the happy times together and give thanks - I went through every day of our marriage experience and gave gratitude for it. The next thing was to get rid of the fear that I couldn’t cope on my own. I began to identify myself with divine Mind’s infinite all supply, intelligence and wisdom. I also identified myself with divine Love and the infinite omnipresence of Love, which I could never be without. One day when I wasn’t watching our marriage was back full on again. In my case it was the right conclusion.

He doesn’t leave you half way. He/She will take you all the way to your right place and you can trust His/Her care for you :)

[grace2u]

Karen, you are so precious. Nothing going on right now can separate you from God's constant love and care. This is what the apostle Paul affirmed despite the troubles and hurt and harm that came his way -- he said he was absolutely convinced that nothing at all, not what was present nor what would come, could separate any of us from the love of God (see Romans 8:35-39). This got him through the tough times with confidence and joy. God is our true and constant companion. God is Love itself.

Understanding our relationship with God, first and foremost, aligns all other relationships around us. If the relationships are progressive and supportive, they draw strength for our relationship with God and grow stronger. If they hold back our own sense of spiritual completeness, honor, or worth, they fall away because there is nothing Godlike sustaining them.

The source of all good, all love, and all supply -- is God. If you listed the qualities you most want to have in your life, would they be faithfulness, intelligence, kindness, gentleness, strength, unselfishness? These are all spiritual qualities that originate in God and are reflected in the lives of God's children. They don't belong to any one of us individually or exclusively, and so can't walk out of our lives. Let your prayers continue to value the pure, spiritual qualities you have loved in your husband, and you will begin to feel the eternal nature of those qualities and that they are always around you and present in so many unexpected and inspiring ways.

We need to place every one of our human relationships in God's hands. If we try to impose an outcome one way or the other, we may miss what will truly improve a situation for all involved. But unwavering divine Love guides and governs us, corrects and comforts us as nothing and no one else can. And this Love truly reaches the heart and heals it.

[paulson]

I love the way these responses are bringing to the surface all the reasons you can witness good in your life. One of the great gifts of Christian Science is that it helps us understand why we would WANT God’s will to be done. There are many other religious practices that teach people to just break their human will and surrender to God without question. They’re even taught that people should just die, because it might be God’s will. While Christian Science teaches us the humility to seek God’s will, and the repentance to obey God’s will, it also reveals the irresistible attraction of living God’s will abundantly and freely.

There was a time in my life when I felt everything in my life pointed to a direction contrary to what God was enabling. It was quite some battle to seek God’s will, understand God’s will, and obey God’s will without complaining. But as I did so, I was really growing spiritually. I had to silence my own outlining, turn from the sorrow, repent of wanting something God wasn’t giving me, and practice humility and patience.

And the only way to do that was to keep my focus on the good I really had (just as the previous people have been describing in this blog). I had God as my best Friend; I had the capacity to love others; I had received immeasurable good from other sources; I had more faith in God’s goodness than fear of God’s mistakes.

I never got the things I wanted, but now I see why God’s will for me has been so much better. I’m glad for the spiritual growth required of me, and I’m glad for the freedom to do more good for others than I would have been able to do with my own plan. You know you can trust God’s will is good. God’s will blesses all. God’s will destroys fear, lack, doubt, and bad character habits. God’s will includes profound love for you. God’s will awakens you to abundance already here.

That’s why you want God’s will to be done.

[Merry1]

Hi Karen,
I just want to give you a big e-hug and let you know you are not alone. I was in a similar circumstance several years ago, and I can tell you from experience that what grace2u says is so true. I had people (a Christian Science practitioner, for one) who were telling me these kinds of things at the time, yet I found it hard to accept at first. But one day after I had been praying for several months about the situation, I had a revelation that changed everything for me. I was driving home from work with the radio on, and after hearing some love song I started feeling like such a failure and thinking about how sad it was that nobody loved me like that. But then, just as quickly as this depressing thought had occurred, another idea came to me so strongly that I felt as if God was speaking to me directly, and the message was, “You are loved completely.” Not only did I hear these words clearly and with such tenderness in my thought but I also suddenly understood, with every fiber of my being, that this was true, that it had always been true, and that it would continue to be true. And, although it is hard to describe now, this understanding freed me. I no longer felt that I had to worry about whether or not my husband and I were going to stay together. Knowing that I was completely loved by God allowed me to put the future of my human relationships in His hands and to feel confident that God’s wonderful plan of abundant good for me and for all of His creation (including my husband) was unfolding right then and there and that we could both bear witness to this. And this has proven to be the case – I can’t even begin to describe the good that been evidenced in my experience since that time and in so many ways that I never could have anticipated. It took a couple of years more for everything to be resolved between my husband and me, but, during that time, this understanding allowed me to work through it with a sense of confidence and peace that had eluded me until then. I know that, if you continue to reach out to God, you will find this same freedom, peace, and confidence, that it is, in fact, already yours because you, too, are loved completely right here and right now. All my best to you. :)

[livinglightly]

Hi Karen,

Sometimes when the challenges pile up, it may seem that there is too much praying to do, or that we are not personally up to it.....

I always feel the sweetest smile from God when I remember, "I don't have to think perfectly forever, I only have to embrace my perfection right now".

[butterfly]

:)Hey Karen, not sure if you're still reading these posts but I just wanted to say hi and that I've been in your situation. My husband last year told me that he didn't love me anymore and he thought it was best for us to part. I was devastated but I just kept hanging on to the thought that God loved me. The reasons my husband stated he wanted a divorce just seemed so superficial to me and I understand the ache and pain that you feel when that kind of thing happens to you. In my case, I contacted a Christian Science practitioner who prayed with me. She also reminded me of God's love for me and at one stage during this process I really believed maybe God was sending me in a different direction. This was really a big time of spiritual growth for me as I realised I needed to put my relationship with God FIRST in my life and let Her/Him direct everything. And I also needed to get to know God better - a whole lot better - as a best friend! To really be able to know God a whole lot more and a whole lot better. In my situation, things turned around and our relationship repaired. I think for me though, looking on it now, it was an amazing time of realising that I really had to always put GOD first...not a husband...not anyone...and get to know God's love for me a whole lot better. I know it's hard and messy and stomach turning, but I also know how much God loves you! So He/She would never ever give you anything but the best - whatever that may be for you. (insert big hug for you here).

[Laurie]

Just one more comment on the story of Abraham, Sarah, and Hagar, which I found helpful.

The only person who actually "grieved" in the story was Abraham himself:
"And the thing was very grievous in Abraham's sight...." (Gen 21:11):(