needing some spiritual perspective

[waterbaby]

Hi all...I've been away from this site for a couple of weeks and came back last night and just read and read and read. The warmth, compassion and love coming from the posts was overwhelming to me. Thank you all.

I have a problem...certainly not life-threatening...but one on which I'd like some perspective. My 18 yo son has decided to get a GED rather than finish high school and get a diploma. He HATES school and, although is very smart, has spent the last 2 years cutting as many classes as possible (and getting into some mischief) while my husband and I have moved him from school to school trying to find the perfect fit. No such luck.

Does anyone even get GED's anymore ...and what are his options after he has it? I feel hugely responsible for this and deeply saddened. Part of me is truly concerned about his future (of course!!) but I'll admit that there's a small part of me that worries what people will think when they find out. This is a kid who had such lofty goals for himself. He claims he wants to go to college and that after getting his AA degree, that's possible but he doesn't like school now. How is he even going to get the AA degree?? My husband and I are firm believers that we all express our "purpose" differently...it's not a one-size fits all life we're meant to lead. But I'm struggling with this GED thing...it seems so final.

How do I reconcile my son's actions with what God knows about him and his true purpose in life?

many thanks.

[pattyp]

Dear Waterbaby,

There’s hope! Yes, people are still getting GEDs. But God may have other plans for your son.

Often, the parents’ greatest challenge comes from seeing their well-laid plans for a child’s future go awry. But, remember, it was the teenaged Ishmael’s prayer that kept him and his mom Hagar from dying of thirst in the wilderness! God doesn’t have to speak through us in order to communicate with our children.

For parents, the greatest need may be to sincerely pray, “Not my will, but Thine be done” and stick to that prayer -- whether or not things develop according to the parents’ plan or quite apart from it.

Here’s what happened with one of my daughters. After her dad passed on, she was sort of at loose ends -- began cutting classes, getting into potentially dangerous situations.

I didn’t even realize this until a school counselor called it to my attention. Thinking she might need a stronger challenge, I suggested she take a course at a community college for which she could get high school credit toward her diploma. She tried it, but it just didn’t “take”.

Bottom line, she never finished high school, and she never even thought about getting a GED. Instead, she married just before she was eighteen. That got me off the hook, and it was her husband who began nagging her about getting an education. That worked!

First, she got a bachelor’s degree while holding a full-time job. Then she and her husband got master’s degrees together, still working full-time. And finally, while still working full-time, she commuted two hours each way in order to get her law degree, passing the California bar exam first time around. And this, without a high school diploma OR a GED.

A lot of scientific prayer went into my daughter’s progress and education. This included her having Primary Class instruction in Christian Science when she was still in her 20s, without any “helpful” prodding from her mom!

The “pride” issue . . . it’s never bothered me what other people think. That helped me focus on supporting my daughter without feeling that I needed to map out every one of her footsteps.

How does God do it?

It probably is worth mentioning the Jesus never graduated high school or college. Yet he knew how to feed 5,000 people with just a few loaves and fishes. And he could heal deafness, blindness, sickness and raise the dead in an instant.

Mary Baker Eddy never went to high school or college either, yet she became founder and president of the Massachusetts Metaphysical college whose Board of Education systematically instructs people from all walks of life on how to successfully emulate the healing practice of Christ Jesus.

Your son is the apple of God’s eye, and He will not let him fail, no matter what!

[Starlight Rider]

My story, Part I:
Your son sounds a little like me circa 1973-74, thought I was not quite yet in high school at that time. I, too, was considered very smart, academically ahead of my peers, and I hated school. I had severe attendance problems in Jr. high. It didn't help that I was often bullied and nobody in authority seemed to notice, much less care (could this be a hidden issue with your son?). So between being bored in class and tormented in the hallways, school didn't offer me much to look forward to.

My parents worked with a CS Practitioner for about a year. We also took all of the human steps, looked at several alternatives, private schools, tutors, counseling, but nothing looked too promising. Then that summer someone told us about a boarding school for Christian Scientists (one that is no longer in business) and gave us a brochure. I remember lying on my bed looking it over, as I had done with many brochures before that had been tossed aside. It wasn't the fanciest brochure, or the most detailed. I don't even remember what I read, but something suddenly clicked, as if a light went on in my head and I felt compelled to follow this lead. There was no logic to it, but I immediately went to my mother and said "I think I want to go there." I did, and my life turned around in two weeks. I excelled at this school until I graduated.

Part II:
After graduating from high school, I enrolled in college with great fanfare from friends and family. But something didn't feel right. I didn't feel I belonged there. I realized I was there because it was expected of me, not because I had any reason of my own to be there. Indeed, I had felt this about college even while I was still in high school. I dropped out after a few weeks, much to the displeasure of the aforementioned friends and family. But I never looked back, and never had any regrets. I've had a good life, with a loving wife and I enjoy great respect from the people I work with. I don't feel like I've missed out on anything. A few years ago I met a couple of retired teachers. At first they chided me for not attending college, but after an hour and a half of stimulating conversation they conceded that my lack of a formal higher education hadn't hurt me a bit.

I once heard someone say "Don't worry if you don't know what you want to do with your life when you're 20. Some of the most interesting people I know still don't know what they want to do when they're 40."

Moral:
Don't put your trust in the way things "should" be done. God's wisdom will lead your son into the right path at the right time. "It matters not what be thy lot, so love doth guide." You're probably familiar with that hymn.

[NancyJ]

I have great hopes for your son because there are so many alternatives out there now. I wonder if your son would like to obtain credits via online schools? My son spends a lot of time on the computer, and hates high school. He did 9th grade at home via a home study school, and decided to return to HS in 10th grade. I think he returned because it's the norm.

He did really well via home study school. He is absent a lot in 10th grade. I found it's better to look at him individually, and find what is best for HIM. And that comes with prayer, too. I had to let go of the possibility he won't get the HS diploma from the town HS, etc...
But you will find that kids DO get into college doing homeschooling, getting a GED, etc...your son may discover he only wants to go to a community college part time, and work his way in that way.
A friend's son goes to a community college, and takes some courses online.
He was IMPOSSIBLE to motivate, too. This is working for him.

When I read your post I thought this isn't as uncommon as you may think. It is painful, worrisome, because you are thinking of his future. BUT this isn't working out for him, so....since it isn't all one way or nothing, there is a lot of hope, and many, many alternatives.

I don't think high school is what it used to be, there is so much pressure all around, and my son said the teachers were often complaining they don't get paid enough, and our town is well known for their good educational system. So, put the social pressures, the complaints of the teachers, etc...etc...and I can see why kids don't want to go.

There is great hope for your son!!! :)

[waterbaby]

Oh my gosh.....the outpouring of love and reassurance in those 3 posts. I just wept when I read them. Thank you.

The one thing I realized as I carefully read each one is that I've probably put ALOT of pressure on my son...ridiculous amounts....and the more pressure, the more he seems at wits end. I feel so awful about that. I was a struggling teen too in so many ways.....I did the high school and college thing but wasn't a true fan. But I did what my parents wanted me to do. I've just been expecting him to do the same.

Different strokes? You're right...there are so many options out there today. I will rejoice in that and continue to recognize God as my son's true parent, communicating his love and guidance daily. And I'm going to call my son and tell him that everything WILL be okay!

Thank you all so much!

[NYCtown]

I love to know that it's never too late -- we're never out of options. God is always pouring forth all of His resources right at our feet!!! :)

[jazzrascal]

It certainly seems that God has a unique plan for each of His children, doesn't it? We have to listen to His voice instead of following the status quo, I think. A few examples from my own life: my older daughter finished high school at night and got her GED. I couldn't afford to send either of my daughters to college full-time, so they took selected courses in areas that interested them. Now they are both independent adults with their own businesses. As for me, I was sent to college but dropped out after a year and a half. In spite of this, I had a 12-year career in journalism. As I look over all my years in school, I think that it's good not just to accept the idea that formal education is "it." I really don't think I learned all that much in school, and learned a lot more just living life, reading, traveling and praying (of course!). This is an individual thing, though. God always has the right answer for each one of us.

jazzrascal

[danr415]

Hi waterbaby,

I think you asked a GREAT question -- how to get more spiritual perspective. I think that the world constantly tries to make us change our perspective yet to gain the real Truth, we always need to turn to God.

The world perspective indicates that your child does not enjoy school. It says that you should be fearful about the academic success of your son, and that any non-traditional form of education, or recognition of learning from that education (GED) will be harmful to one of the people that you most treasure in your life, your son.

Now to answer your question. Your son is a perfect child of God. Your son is an idea from God, representing and constantly reflecting all aspects of God's perfection including Infinite Mind. You too are a perfect idea. You represent the same perfect ideas coming from this perfect idea of God.

So lets take a look at the situation now -- applying the Truth. Your son is failing school. Can the laws of Mind fail at doing it's work (can addition suddenly stop working?)? You are afraid about your son's future. Is it possible for a perfect idea to be anything but perfect?

Desiring to work with these Truths, as discussed in Science and Health has given me a different and more spiritual perspective which has resulted in countless healings in my life with regard to any world belief that tries to change my perspective.

I hope this helps!

[newunfoldment]

God's plan for your dear son is complete.The Big Picture has no missing pieces.

What God has begun, HE completes it all the way.

God's Plan
By
Newunfoldment

A God orchestrated plan,
Is one in which Principle upholds,
What Mind constantly unfolds.
And Spirit enfolds,
What Love already beholds.

Soul blends its rhythmic crescendo,
With Truth's harmony-
While creating and maintaining Life's balance
From overture, to its complete fruition;
In restful rejoicing and gentle satisfaction.

[NancyJ]

If I may please ask to gain some understanding on this.
I really like the way the situation is broken down, fears are outlined, and Truth applied to each.
The priority is to rid the fear, and pray for specific guidance regarding the educational route that is best for her son? God will reveal the specific path in time?

[danr415]

Exactly, Nancy. We are only able to see what God's plan is when our perspective is in line with God. First, we need to prepare our thought to be able to listen to what God is saying, then we need to follow the instructions that we receive from God -- manifesting His work, and nothing else.